The other night in class, one of my favorite yoga teachers cued a pose and then said, “Now if that’s not working for you, don’t do it.” I was struck by that advice—good advice for life as well as yoga.
To Change Your Life, Begin by Changing Your Habits: A review of Gretchen Rubin’s Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Everyday Life
Further Thoughts on Getting to “Yes”
Giving Yourself Permission to Make Change
Saying Yes to Something Means Saying No to Something Else
Crossroads: When Old Roles Pinch and Bind
I found myself feeling the same vague feelings of discontent. Efforts to revitalize my interest by teaching new courses and taking on new quasi-administrative roles did not restore my spark for the work. I floundered for a couple of years. I plunged into soul-searching. I read books about finding life’s purpose. I read books about middle age. I talked to people about their work and their own life paths. I saw a therapist. I worked with a life coach. Mostly I remained curious. Writer Elizabeth Gilbert has said that “Curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves. And it’s a very gentle friend, and a veryforgiving friend, and a very constant one.”
“The hey-day of woman’s life”: Elizabeth Cady Stanton and the journey toward your personal heyday
Ever wonder why I call it Heyday Coaching. It comes from a quote from one of my heroes, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who said, “Fifty, not fifteen, is the heyday of woman’s life, then the forces hitherto finding an outlet in flirtations, courtship, conjugal and maternal love, are garnered in the brain to find expression in intellectual achievements, in spiritual friendships and beautiful thoughts, in music, poetry, and art. It never is too late to try what we may do.”
Body of Work: Finding the Thread That Ties Your Story Together--A Review
Meeting Your Long-Term Goals
If you’re like me, one of your biggest challenges is finding the time to work on our long-term goals even as we juggle the tasks that come our way on any given day. A few months ago, I listened to a podcast interview with Mark Goulston, M.D., a psychiatrist and author of the book Get Out of Your Own Way. He offered a simple method to develop and organize your action steps toward the long-term goal. He called it the ICU method.
Self-Care: Your Personal Compass
I ask every client what they do for self-care. Most of the time they laugh. Or tell me with some exasperation that they don’t have time for self-care. I see this problem among my friends, and I must confess that I often put self-care at the bottom of my priority list. But I have learned from experience that this is a mistake. When I don’t take care of myself, mentally and spiritually as well as physically, I tend to do a bad job fulfilling my responsibilities to everyone else.
Expecting the Worst
I excel at expecting the worst. I have a vivid imagination, and when something happens, my mind leaps ten steps ahead constructing a worst case scenario. In my twenties, I learned that psychologist Albert Ellis had coined a term to describe what I was doing. He called it “awfulizing,” imagining that things are as bad as they can possibly be.
William Bridges, "Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes"—A Review
Bridges explores the typical transitions that we all make throughout our lives including career changes, retirements, job loss, marriage, having a child, losing a loved one, getting divorced. These transitions may be forced upon us by circumstances outside our control, or they may be things we initiate, but he points out that all transitions are stressful.
Being Rather Than Doing
How Women Decide: A Review
Experiments in Mindful Living—Scrapping my “To Do” List
Buried Seeds and Change
Falling Off the Mindfulness Wagon
Being Akiba
Often I feel like Akiba. I think the word authentic is overused, and yet it fits. I’ve tied myself in knots and contorted my life into unrecognizable shapes trying to embody a model that didn’t feel authentic to me. Or a life that was once authentic but ceased to feel that way. I’ve tried to force myself into the old roles that no longer fit.
Mika Brzezinski on Growing Your Valu
Brzezinski concludes that “It is simply not enough to know your core professional message. As women, we need to grow our value in all aspects of our lives to be nourished, energized, and successful—not simply in material ways but also in authentic joy and gratitude. To be a truly successful working woman—with or without kids, in or out of a committed relationship—you need to know your inner value.”
“Happy Because I Made it That Way”: Art and Entrepreneurship at Mid-Life
As 1984 drew to a close, Olive wrote in her diary, "1984 has ended and in spite of adversities. . . . [I]t was happy because I made it that way. I made up my mind to 'do my thing' as people say today and not try to change what I knew couldn't be changed. . . . Along with counting my blessings, I made big strides in a small business I had started a couple of years ago. This has been a great pleasure."