I used to team teach a course on the Great Depression with my economist colleague Woody. One of the topics we covered was the 1933 U.S. decision to suspend the gold standard for domestic transactions (a wise move, but that's a story for a different kind of blog). This discussion inevitably meant we had to teach about how paper money functions. I'll never forget the cute red-headed student who was following along with Woody's explanation of paper money when she suddenly grew wide-eyed and interrupted him to say, "Wait! You mean money's not real!?!"

Woody explained that paper currency WAS real, but that when we went off the gold standard, it was not backed by a tangible asset like gold. The value--the thing that made it real--he explained was the public's trust in the government to manage the economy in a way calculated to maintain purchasing power and financial stability. Paper currency has value because we trust the political and financial systems that gives it value. This led us into a long discussion about how much of our financial system is based on trust.

Of course, this blog is not intended to be a history or an economics lesson. The issue of trust has been coming up a lot lately in my work with clients. A lot of them are navigating difficult interpersonal problems at work, and most of those interpersonal problems emerge from a lack of trust. Every time the issue of trust comes up, I think about that student and that discussion about what makes something real and trustworthy.

Trust is important to having successful and productive relationships at work. Relationships often break down because somewhere along the way, we've realized that we can't trust that boss or that co-worker. Maybe we don't trust them to give us credit for our achievements. Or to admit responsibility for their mistakes. Or to tell us the truth about what's going on at work. Or to treat all co-workers with fairness and equity. Or to honor confidential conversations. Sometimes our bosses or co-workers don't trust us. Think of the micro-managing boss who doesn't trust you to get the job done without breathing down your neck. The list is endless, but most of the time the people problems at work are rooted in a lack of trust.

It's a problem that goes well beyond work. A lack of trust can undermine personal relationships. Much of the uncertainty and fear that dominates our national life today is about a loss of trust: in our leaders, in our civic institutions, and ultimately in each other.

When you think about it, the very foundations of daily life rest on trust. Every time we get in the car, we trust that most drivers will operate vehicles safely and according to traffic laws. We trust that our physicians will do their best to provide us with good medical care. We trust that the restaurant where we grab lunch will serve us safe food. We trust that the check-out clerk at the supermarket will not cheat us. There are systems in places to help reinforce and confirm our trust: traffic laws, medical licensing boards, restaurant inspectors. And sometimes trust breaks down: someone runs a red light, a physician makes a mistake, or the clerk overcharges us. But most of the time, our systems work, and that gives us the confidence to move through the world without being unduly fearful or risk averse. In short, in order to move through the world most effectively, we must trust that most people are acting on good faith and doing the best they can.

In The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work, Charles Feltman says that trust is “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” The flip side is distrust which he defines as the feeling that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation.”[1]

When clients struggle to deal with difficult co-workers or bosses, I've learned to help them figure out whether the problem stems from a lack of trust. That provides a foundation for figuring out the best steps to build (or rebuild) trust--or how to operate in way that feels safe if it's not possible to establish trust. The answers vary from person to person and from situation to situation.

Researcher Brene' Brown says that trust contains seven elements:

· Boundaries: Others respect your boundaries and clearly communicate their own.

· Reliability: People do what they say they’ll do.

· Accountability: “You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends" when you goof up.

· Vault: Don't be a blabbermouth. Don’t share information that isn’t yours to share.

· Integrity: “You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy.”

· Nonjudgment: Being able to talk about what you feel and need without fear of being judged.

· Generosity: offering the most generous interpretation possible to the words, intentions and actions of other.[2]

There's no one-size-fits-all solution to restoring trust in work situations, and sadly sometimes it's not possible at all. With clients, I start by exploring the questions "What do you need to trust in this situation?" and "How can you build trust?" and “How might you be showing up in ways that others perceive as untrustworthy?” Brown's seven elements of trust can usually provide clients with a way to understand where and why trust is breaking down. Lots of times, our investigation of these questions helps the client better assess the kind of work environment where they can thrive. They may also learn how to set clearer boundaries for their relationships at work. Evaluating ways to build trust can lead to all kinds of discoveries.

I'd love to hear from you: What are some of the things you need to build trust as you interact with people at work and beyond? Drop me a line in the comments.

[1] Feltman quoted in Brene' Brown, Atlas of the Heart (New York: Harper Collins, 2021): 191

[2] Brown, Atlas of the Heart, p. 192.