Before we begin our work together, I ask new clients to answer a series of reflection questions. Along with a client’s goals for coaching, a conversation about the client’s responses to these reflection questions shape our initial coaching session. One of the questions is “What dream for your life is still unfulfilled?”
Several times in the past year, clients have left that question blank. When we discuss it, they say that they haven’t really had any big dreams for their lives or that they’ve already achieved the dreams from their young years.
One client was the first person in the family to attend and graduate from college. Another had come from a family that struggled economically. Still another had come with her family to this country as a refugee from a country plagued by economic uncertainty and political oppression. All three are now successful professionals.
I’ve written before about a time in my life that I felt exactly this way: through a combination of luck and hard work and lots of support from other people, I had achieved my personal and professional dreams. I had trouble “dreaming” about what I wanted to work toward next. In some ways, it felt a little selfish or ungrateful to aspire to have new dreams.
I’ve served on some non-profit boards that were engaged in strategic planning for the next five or seven years. Usually there’s a professional facilitator—a person who doesn’t have a dog in the fight, as we say in the South--who guides the board and senior staff through this process. The facilitator often encourages the participants to choose a BHAG—a "big hairy audacious goal" that will give the organization a vision to strive for. A BHAG can inspire an organization to dream bigger than incrementally increasing funding, growing an audience, or serving a larger client population.
A BHAG can be a worthy stretch for an organization or an individual, but choosing a BHAG can also feel overwhelming or even a bit arrogant. I’ve sometimes wondered if a BHAG might be a little too audacious to be useful in guiding an organization’s actions and decision-making. Can the important day-to-day work get lost in the pursuit of the BHAG?
When I ask clients about dreams they are still working toward, I suspect that they are thinking of BHAGs that may feel just a bit too audacious to be useful.
I’d love to hear what you, dear reader, think of that question. Put your thoughts in the comments.
In the meantime, I’ve changed that reflection question on my client intake form to read: What aspirations do you have for your life that you have not yet fulfilled?