Let's face it: none of us likes feeling sad, frustrated, angry, or any of the other emotions that we label as negative. We are steeped in a culture of positivity--even toxic positivity--that encourages us to maintain a positive mindset no matter how difficult our lives might be in any given moment. As a result, we often go to great lengths to hide from negative feelings. We lose ourselves in work, mindlessly watch Tik-Tok videos, binge-stream television shows, or overindulge in food or in mind-altering substances--anything that will help us ignore the hard emotions.

But none of our escape strategies change the underlying situation that is creating the negative emotions.

Negative emotions are a fundamental fact of life. A lot of hard things happen to humans in their lifetimes, and those hard things leave us feeling sad or angry.

What if we could harness negative emotions to help us? Actually, we can. Most of us have channeled hard feelings for our own benefit at least a few times in our life, and we can learn to do that more often.

It's important to remember that emotions are information. Psychologists call it the "feelings-as-information theory," an obvious term to describe the way we use our emotions to make decisions on everything from social interactions to family life to careers.

Of course, emotions are like every other kind of information: sometimes they provide us with accurate and reliable reads on the world around us, but other times, they lead us to a distorted view of the world. Just as we must carefully vet the information we find on the internet or in printed sources, we need to carefully consider the way we are reading the information provided by our emotions.

It's pretty hard to read that emotional information carefully if we are avoiding facing it at all. If we deny our negative emotions, we may be on autopilot--reacting to situations instead of thoughtfully responding to them. The first step to using "feelings-as-information" is to actually face the feelings.

If we tune in to our negative emotions and spend time processing them, we can begin to use the emotions they provide in productive ways. As psychologist Susan David says in her book Emotional Agility, "Your so-called negative emotions are often actually working in your favor." (10)

She explains, "Our so-called negative emotions encourage slower, more systematic processing. We rely less on quick conclusions and pay more attention to subtle details that matter. . . . 'Negative' moods [can] summon a more attentive, accommodating thinking style that leads you to really examine facts in a fresh and creative way." (57) She adds, "Our raw feelings can be the messengers we need to teach us things about ourselves and can prompt insights into important life directions." (61)

What about you? When have you been able to learn more about yourself and make better judgements about a situation or a dilemma by tuning in to what your anger or sadness or frustration were trying to tell you?